May the 34th be with you!

I had a VIP booking from Mike and Pam. Friends of Candy and Ari. The B’Ham friends I met at an Irish pub last year. They wanted me to pick them up, drop them off at their friends place and then take them into town for dinner and then drop them off downtown. Eventually picking them up and taking them all home. All cash in hand. In amongst all that pick up uber customers. The friends were obviously the VIPs. Priority over all of the others. In driving them around I would turn the app off.

After chatting for a bit I dropped them off at their first destination at a restaurant. Then I’d thought I’ll go up to the airport and see if I can get get any pings. On the way there I went through Bellingham when I saw a man in a beige flannel, white socks and black shoes and dark coloured shorts. He was wearing a Phantom of the Opera style mask, wearing a baseball cap and holding a steak knife. Hand holding the blade out in front of him. He looked angry. He was stomping up the hill on Holly street near the closing store of Rocket doughnuts. Um he looked dangerous. So for the first time in my life I rang 911. A lady answered immediately and I told her exactly what I had seen. She asked me many questions including if he was on the sidewalk, which direction he was going and what he was wearing. I told her everything I could. She thanked me and that police will be on the scene immediately. Great to know. Sure enough literally 5 minutes later Bellingham police Department rang me back. Was going to post a screenshot of my call history of the 911 call but it never saved in my call history. Wonder why? Maybe because it runs on a separate network. Does anyone know? I mean what if wanted that information in court or something? Bit strange. There is a call record of Bellingham police Department though. Top number in screenshot. They rang me and couldn’t find him. What the bloody hell? Where’d he go? Was it a joke? Was someone pretending? Whilst I was the phone dinner was completed. Didn’t pick anyone up that whole time just chatting with the coppers. Eventually VIPs contacted me. I went to go pick them up in downtown.

I told my VIPs the story they alarmed because that’s close to where I saw the knife wielding psychopath. I said well maybe he was just being a weirdo. Probably. As I dropped them off my night got extremely busy. I thought it was going to be a quiet night. The 13 other uber drivers were my competition, but they either didn’t work as much or it was just full on for everyone working.

My first new customer was Gabe a graphic designer from Seattle. He said I need to do a blog and go on a podcast. Um yeah I really should. He told me about NPR. Sounded cool. But can’t really remember what it was. Sounded like you work doing podcasts. Anyway he was so keen on me doing it he wrote it in my comments on the uber app. Nice fellow. He told me about how he would make less money in Bellingham as a graphic designer, but in Seattle you make bank. Nice one. After I dropped him off downtown he shook my hand firmly. He seemed excited to speak with me. Ha cool. I’m so exotic. 😏

Met 3 sheilas who were extremely nice. I told them about losing my job and asked me where my former employers office was. They couldn’t understand why I was fired. I told them roughly why. They said that’s no reason to get rid of someone. If you want something a certain way train, give input, guide and retain. It’s more expensive to a company to constantly hire and fire people. Yeah I believed them. One lady was honestly was a Jill of all trades, I told her and she loved it. Wants to put that on her business cards. Ha I said it’s a saying from Down Under. Jack of all trades is a dude with a lot of skills. Yep. One lady had just graduated and the third was a vagabond that had lived in the UK and was heading over Hong Kong. I totally forgot about the unrest over there. Could have said something. Now she might get caught in so.e scary crap over there. I’m sure she knows. After dropping them off they tipped me handsomely and wished me all the best in my future exploits. Cheers.

Gena was a military lady. She was the following passenger along with her mate x. Didn’t catch his name. She was from San Diego and was a delight in the car. An African American lady with such a refined vocabulary. I’d give you examples, but not right now. She told me she wanted to go to Australia. I told her she should and that her accent will give her a lot of attention down there. She said her husband wouldn’t like that. Fair enough. As I dropped the two off I caught her say I wonder if my husband can do accents? Strewth! I think I should start trying to do an American accent. I could be a bloody home wrecker if all I know. Eh I have tried and I sound like a game show host announcer or some person from the south. You know like Texas or apparently Alabama. She thought I was from Michigan actually at first over the phone when I was trying to find her. Then realised no I wasn’t.

Next customer lived all the way in Ferndale. Wow such a good fare. Long trip. Four passengers coming home from the Chrysallis. One guy knew I was Aussie, he said Gold Coast. I said that’s where I grew up. He apparently stayed there for a month at the age of 18. Loved it there. We chatted about the theme parks and the beaches, oh and sharks. He was cool. The ladies in the back invited me to paint their house on Sunday. The reward would be their single female friends. I feel like you’re a pimp and this is a weird TV show. I can see it now.

The Buck: next week on the Buck can this Bloke paint the house to the satisfaction of the owner? If he doesn’t he gets evicted from the house. If he succeeds he gets to date all the owners single friends at the same time. It’s like the bachelor but with real tasks. Watch our hero do an oil change. Then build a shed. But the ultimate task, build that blasted IKEA set that is missing 2 pieces. He wins a million dollars. Yeah it’ll happen on HGTV. Then they’ll make one called the Doe. Similar story except one lady and bunch of fellows. Yeah it’s basically the bachelor or bachelorette.

Next customer was Jesse a mental health professional. His car unfortunately broke down before going to work. Working on a Friday that must suck. Oh wait I’m working. He also said he does doordash and postmates. Fair enough.

Jo from IT another customer watches a lady stack it on the curb in her heels. Then Dan the real estate man. He normally fixes equipment at the refinery but wanted a change. I hear you brother.

Michael was next he works on skyscrapers in Seattle. Wants to become a helicopter pilot. Cool. His Australian accent was terrible. He wants to go there. Do it man, just leave the Australian accent to the professionals.

Heather was next. She works at Lowe’s. The hardware store not the mens clothing store in Australia. She wants a career change in ultrasound!

Next was Aunree. What an exotic name. Is it French? I hope I pronounce it right. I drive up to the club. AUNREE?? It’s Aubree. Uh OK interesting spelling. She looked. Oh I spelt my name wrong. That makes sense now.

Cain was next. He told me I should make the big time with uber. Maybe. He was my final customer until I had to pick up my VIPS. 2.30 am wow already made my quota and then some. My VIPs had a blast. Party animals. Anyway that’s it for now.

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