After going through the car wash and getting rid of the dirt in my car it was time to Uber. I had missed ubering after 3 days of digging in another county. The physical nature of archaeology can take a toll. I’m constantly plagued with back pain and now my knee just pops out of nowhere. Getting old sucks. Oh yeah now my left wrist clicks constantly.
Back at it. After driving through the carwash in neutral. Yeah there’s a conveyorbelt that takes you through. Right at the end some guy shammies your car. I turned the app on. Ping! Wow that was fast. Josh was the man, as made my way to pick him up I noticed a trucking company called Bugga Inc. I chuckled at this and thought I wonder if they knew what that word was. Tempted now to start a company that is a derogatory term in Australia and bring it over to the USA as a household name, but what? As I passed the bugga truck I wanted to photograph it, but managed to get my own face. Okay bugga truck you win this round.
Now for my customer. I got a text saying he’s tall, in black and holding a backpack. Thanks mate. I got to the bus depot in downtown. On the corner I saw him, so I parked in the45 degree angle parking spot so I didn’t hold up traffic. I thought he saw me. Rang him immediately. No response okay. I’ll get closer. Powered my window down. Yelled. JOSH! He responded Uber? YEAH! He thanked me incessantly. How’s your day? His response surprised me a little. You’re the third Uber driver I’ve attempted to get here today. Really? Why’s that? As he sat down in my car I noticed some teeth missing and the overpowering smell of feet. He was in town from Marblemont to visit his aunt. Not ant. He said ant. Thought that’s a long way to travel to visit your tiny friend, don’t they have ants out in the mountains? Anyway he said he tried to get 3 different uber drivers and they never showed up. Weird maybe they judged him from a distance and cancelled or just didn’t make the effort. Am I the only driver that yells someone’s name when I drive up? It has fallen on deaf ears before. Yell out someone’s name and the person shakes their head or they have earphones in. Okay you’re not the droid I’m looking for.
Once I powered through the stench of feet. Josh apparently looked like a YouTube rap personality. Never heard of him and now I can’t even remember his name. He said it was annoying people would come up and ask for his autograph and he wouldn’t have a pen. Ah. All righty then. He said he should just start up his own YouTube channel. He talked about weed a lot and I mentioned it’s great for you guys now having it so readily accessible. (No it isn’t). (You probably need to stop). The guy was totally out of touch with reality, but then he tipped me. Well sir I honestly didn’t think of all the people in my car you would tip me, he even stated how clean and nice my car was. Okay dude you’re getting a 5 stars from me now. Because aside from the fact he was a pot head and smelled like feet. He was a bloody nice chap. The teeth missing didn’t bother me too much because hey teeth are expensive and hell it gave the man some serious character. Maybe you should start your own channel. I might even watch it in my underwear.
Next passenger was an underwear model. Okay no it wasn’t. It was a sweet old retired couple coming back from a family reunion in New York. Sounds like a great time. I still haven’t been to New York, but I really want to. It’s what I have imagined the USA would be since I was a kid. Gotham. Skyscrapers, a French statue holding an ice cream and King Kong. Not to mention a bloody great big park that is centrally located. Ha yes New York takes me back to Independence Day, Godzilla, the Phantom, did I mention King Kong and the Umpire of the State building. New York New York, start spreading the news….
This couple apparently use Uber a lot and get the same drivers, so they were surprised to meet someone different. They said one of their family members couldn’t make it. They have a family member that lives on the Gold Coast, QLD. on the Gold Coast, QLD. Fair dinkum this world is getting smaller by the minute. I told them I went to primary and secondary school there. We discussed their retirement and how the husband volunteers. How rewarding. You must get bored for you to do that. Yes was the response.
After dropping off the New York visitors. I went back to the airport, then ping! Tim was next. Got to the airport Tim I yelled. Woman shakes her head. Fair enough 🤣😂. Then near the shuttle bay, the customer was waiting for me waving. He was in town from Sacramento. On business. With his bag still not in Bellingham. Oh I hate when my bag decides to go on an adventure without me. Wonder who he meets along the way. “Hello I’m a duffle bag from Ouagadougou”.
Anyway Tim, an IT man helping the newspaper the Herald move. Yes the newspaper is downsizing. They had a whole building and now the Herald building will just have other businesses in it. Weird. It’s the 21st century and newspapers are downsizing, it makes sense though. You know that song video killed the radio star? Well internet killed the newspaper star. Bit of a mouthful though. The fellow discussed his next few days will be 12hr days. This paper is not owned by News Corp. Take that Murdoch you billionaire Aussie tyrant! Then the conversation went to property costs and how he is in the process of inheriting 10% of a $2.3 million property in the Bay Area. An inheritance broker tracked him down and said he was one of the heirs. Huh cool. I thought the state got that? He said he thought if no one was there to claim it he thought the Government got it. Nope. Imagine trying to track someone down for lost inheritance. Sounds messy and what if you get it wrong? Smith? I mean how many Smiths are there? Do they go on ancestry.com and follow the yellow brick road until they find a link? I remember I received a letter once saying I was the rightful owner of $25,000 in the post in Armidale, NSW. I rang the guy and he told me he had the right person. I rang my family and asked them about this so called inheritance. If it was in my email I would of thought scam, but this guy had my address and everything. I had only been there for 6 months. I looked online for unclaimed state money. Nothing came up. I looked up the man’s business name. Nope nothing. Hmmm…mmm…mmm he doesn’t exist spooky. So I determined it was a scam and moved on. I hope this guy’s inheritance is legit. Good luck mate.
Got a repeat offender in the car. As in the same customer as a few weeks ago. A Baker. Angelica.
Oh yeah speaking of scams three calls about my social security number. Haha they think I’m a citizen. Stupid robot. That’s how I know you’re not real.
Finally David pinged me. He was my last customer after a half day due to my archaeology paperwork I had to endure in the morning. I picked him up from the wharf. He looked like Eric Idle, but he sounded like Gene Wilder. He heard my Irish music playing and he got excited. He was born on St Patrick’s day. We had an in depth conversation about Irish whiskey, fighting with two British expatriates and how he lives at the tallest point of Bellingham. He really does. I’ll ad some photos of this marvelous location. I told him about my Irish heritage on my father’s side. Said we were descended from the first leprechauns, that’s why I wasn’t very tall growing up. Told him I’m an archaeologist by trade and then he mentioned Ancient Aliens. Oh God. No. Was tempted to drop him off in the middle of nowhere and say get a UFO next time. That stupid bloody show gives people an awful misrepresentation of archaeology. It shouldn’t be on TV at all. The people who are on and produce are sell outs. My customer still had some redeeming qualities though. He liked my music and had some great stories, but come on. Ancient Aliens no. We were going so well. It’s like you go to a seminar and it sounds great then it turns into a timeshare. We were doing so well! Then you hurt my feelings with your propaganda and traps. It’s like when you find out about a famous star or celebrity who you admire and then you find out they are into pedophilia. Yes that’s extreme, but someone needs to do a study on this. The same reaction in the brain when you just get disappointed. Is it the same level of disappointment as other situations? Famous celebrity is a pedophile vs your mate that you go hunting with or golfing with likes Justin Bieber, in fact even goes to his concerts. I mean it’s got to be the same shock value.