I arrived at the airport to see if I can get a ping. Yes Monday’s oh no matter what I do work related I will always hate Mondays. They just have a smell about them. They are menacing Mondays. It’s the day that will rip your head off and spit down your neck or rip your arms off and best you with the soggy ends. Who knows what torment you or even attack you. Actually I was born on a Monday. Although it was Labor Day. So it got a free pass. Yes I was born on a Labor Day. So many jokes. Your mum went into Labor on Labor Day. Fine there’s only one joke there.
As I looked at the airport queue there was at least 1-5 people in front of me. In fact I could see at least 2 of them. Damn these early risers. Ping! Wait hang on, that’s me! Haha peace out other uber drivers! My passenger. Not yours! Sarah. An Irish lass from Limerick. I told her my great grandfather was from Ireland. Sarah had returned from Vegas to see her sister. She was on her way back to Vancouver. Sarah was heading over to Australia in about a month or so. Told her she would love it. As I dropped her off I glared at the taxis ahead of me. I jumped out of the car and retrieved her bag for her.
Then there was Lockey. A former Western Washington Uni graduate. He was back visiting with his mates from Cali. All but one were reminiscing about their uni days. It made me think of Armidale. Had some wonderful times there. Made me miss those times. Heading up to the Stro on a Wednesdy night. Getting those Christian sausages coming back down the hill. Oh yeah the Christians would have a free sausage sizzle for the drunks. Bless them. Then in my third year they had free donuts. Not the bloody same. On a cold winter’s night a hot sausage and hot choccy was the most delightful gift from God you’ll ever see. Nothing but a hot bit of sausage in between a slice of bread covered in tomato sauce. A.k.a. ketchup. I think there were onions too. My first night at the Stro was to see a band called the Freestylers. I turned 18. I do not remember them at all. No one took photos, all I know is I had a great time and my mates carried me home. I still went to class the next day. Had a tutorial for ARCH104 Art and Society. My head was pounding. My head was on the desk when my professor came in and like Thor’s hammer, slammed his books on the desk. I moaned. Then he stated ahhh we turned 18 didn’t we? Yes I did. I don’t remember a bloody thing. Must’ve been a good night. Um I think so? Yes memories. Well what I can remember anyway.
After I dropped the former frat party off. I kept remembering simpler times. Then ping! VANESSA! On my way! She didn’t want to walk from the Dollar Tree. It was bloody hot, that’s for sure. Although it was only about a mile away. I took her home and on the way she told me she was from Canada and got knocked up by a Man Child. Basically an immature man. I wondered how immature he actually was? Did he throw temper tantrums when he didn’t get what he wanted? Perhaps he played with toys like hot wheels? Couldn’t get certain images out of my head including the boss baby from Looney Tunes. Maybe Warner Brothers was on to something? Poor lady having to deal with a smoking baby man.
I dropped her off and went back to the airport. More and more homeless people. I remembered reading an article about some panhandlers getting $100-$200 a day. Was thinking bloody hell. That’s pretty good, but to physically stand there? Maybe that’s why there’s different ones almost every day? Some are probably flying to the Caribbean living it up whilst I’m ubering to feed a 4 legged child. I’m doing this for you boy. Making sure there’s fresh kibble gracing that dog bowl everyday.
I went to the airport then POW! Leon! A bass player from Texas was in town to see his son and play in his band. He had played with a whole bunch of random bands I’d never heard of. Still he makes a living doing it. His bass wouldn’t fit in the boot, so it had to be the backseat. He wasn’t worried about it. He immediately grabbed a water from my center console and launched into his story from the plane having issues, he also told me back in the day he saw an AC/DC cover band that was all female, to when a bouncer pushed him by accident in that very setting and broke his neck. A freak accident because the bouncer was trying remove an unruly patron and he was in the way. He tried to sue the venue but it conveniently went bankrupt. That’s such a dodgy trick businesses do. Should be illegal. Poor bugger, but he was happy about life and wouldn’t change his life or pathway for anything. I dropped him off and noticed he forgot his water he opened and partly drank. I got out and gave it to him. He thanked me and said best not to waste it. He tipped me well. Nice chap. He did have those weird wireless Apple earphones. Yeah you know the ones.
I decided to hang out on Holly Street on the main drag. I was parked on the one side, when a Lexus passed me with music blaring. It wasn’t good music and the speakers were extremely popped. Come on man you’re not cool with popped speakers. I’m embarrassed for you.
Ping! Clive Owen was my next customer. Ha no! Just Owen. He was British and said he owns a construction company. He just came over from Melbourne, now on to Boston. He loved Australia. He said immigration was pretty tame also. He told me how friendly British immigration was and how his wife, an American was nervous initially, but then realized they weren’t American immigration border people. How inviting. British humour transcends all boundaries. He loved chatting with me and wished me all the best in my future endeavors. Cheers mate.
My app decided to not show my earnings after Owen. It was rather annoying because I wanted to see how far off my total I was. Ping! OK I’ll be there soon Aubree. She was off to work and was from Iowa initially. Grew up in a corn field. Well that’s what a gathered. She was sick to death of corn. I said surely there’s a difference between west coast corn to east coast corn. Or mid west corn? Nope all the same. I told her oysters from the east coast taste different to the west coast. I said not sure why it tastes so different. Maybe it’s the radiation from Fukushima? She said probably! Ha yeah damn radioactive oysters. Probably going to grow excessively and start eating cargo ships. Look out! Oyster on the starboard side! Captain full haul to port! Come on there’s gotta be a B grade movie made now! Then it shoots pearls at people like a machine gun. Tat tat tat tat! Brrrr! Pew pew pew! You have heard of Sharnado! Now get ready for Megoyster! The Pearly Gates! It Shell be the Apocalypse!
Then finally a future anthropologist, from Ethiopia. He said he was graduating soon and wanted to work for a social media company or Google. Yes anthropologists are being hired by these corporations to study people. It’s like marketing and analysis. Studying behaviour and cultural trends to boost client relationships. This in turn builds profits. Understandable. Us humans are very complex and extremely fascinating. We’re not all the same. We’re all individuals to a certain degree, but we do have similar goals. Survival being the main one. We chatted about archaeology a bit too, but his heart was definitely set. Go get em mate! He asked for my details. I said sure mate, I do have many contacts in Australia, Europe, the USA and Asia. I have met so many people and ubering has increased this exponentially.
322 people! Holy cow! Then my 4.99 rating returned to 5 stars. That 4 star rating didn’t win. Now if you give your driver less than 5 stars they have to say why? Feedback. Good! See screenshots.